Tonsillectomy
by grim'n'gambit
Summary: *repost* Logan goes under the knife for a simple tonsillectomy when something goes very, very wrong. Will he be able to keep it a secret, or wll he be exposed by a couple of blackmailing teenagers?
1. UhOh

Chapter 1  
  
"You're goin' down, Sabertooth," Logan chuckled with the thrill of the battle. He dodged left and right, avoiding his feline-like foe's many futile attacks. Sabertooth let out a low growl.  
  
"Well, Wolverine, we'll see about that." he stopped suddenly and opened his mouth. What came out wasn't a growl, but a blood-curdling shriek. Logan stumbled backward and grabbed his head, trying to stop the throbbing pain.  
  
~~~~~~~~ Logan awoke with a start. He turned his head to the left and glared at his' evil alarm clock of doom'. "Damn, I hat you," he sighed, realizing he was speaking to an inanimate object. Clearing his throat, he stood and walked towards his closet. Pulling out a pair of faded jeans and a black t-shirt, he cleared his throat once again. "Don't tell me I'm catching a cold." He stopped walking. His voice seemed scratchier than normal, and his throat hurt. Figuring that the air was dry, he shrugged it off and went down the stairs to the kitchen.  
  
"Good morning, Logan. Did you sleep well?" Professor Xavier was always the first person in the Institute to wake up.  
  
"No, actually. I had this weird dream. I was fightin' Sabertooth and winning until my alarm went off and killed me." He cleared his throat.  
  
"I see. Are you all right, Logan? You sound like you're losing your voice," Professor X prodded.  
  
Logan sighed. "That's 'cause I am." He turned and walked out of the kitchen.  
  
~~~~~~~ Two weeks later.  
  
Kitty walked down the hall. It was just another boring, rainy day at the Xavier Institute for Gifted Youngsters. She was dieing of boredom and was looking for something to do. She stopped at a small table with a telephone, pad, and pen. Kitty considered making a call to the Brotherhood to see if Lance wanted to do something, but she decided against it. She turned to go to her room and use her own private phone, and was stopped by the form of another mutant blocking her way. "Hi, Mr. Logan! Like, I haven't seen you in a few days. Where have you been?"  
  
Logan trudged to the table and picked up the pen. He scribbled something down onto the pad. He then handed it to Kitty. The note read: 'Sorry, Half- Pint. Lost my voice.' Kitty looked up at him sympathetically. "Oh, yeah. I think I heard Scott tell Jean or something that you had, like, a cold or something. Well, see ya!" The perky teen skipped back down the hall towards her room, leaving Logan to continue his journey to the Danger Room for training.  
  
The new recruits were just coming out, chattering about this and that, care free as usual. It was 'Wolfs bane this' and 'Sunspot that'. Logan simply pushed past them, almost tripping over the handicapped Professor. "Ah, Logan, I've been looking for you." Logan didn't answer, and he apparently couldn't. "Perhaps you should go to a doctor and have you're throat checked. Living with so many people helps spread contagious viruses." He smiled. "I could arrange for Ouroro to go with you if you like." Logan sighed and nodded, giving up. It was no use arguing with the Professor. He always found some way to win you over, whether it was through guilt, intimidation, or even by using his powers to help persuade some one.  
  
~~~~~~ "Hmmmm. Mmmmm hmmm." Logan glared at the doctor who was poking around in his mouth. "Well Logan, you're going to have to have your tonsils removed. It would be in your best interest to have them taken out as soon as possible. I could arrange for your surgery to be tomorrow. Is that good for you?"  
  
Just barely recovering his voice, Logan replied with "Yeah, whatever. Let's just get this over with, eh?" The doctor nodded and wrote down a few notes on his papers.  
  
"Fine then. Tomorrow at 11:30 a.m. Have a nice day, don't forget to pay." The doctor chuckled at his accidental rhyme.  
  
~~~~~~ "Logan, are you awake?" Logan's eyes fluttered open. To his left was the Professor and to his right was Ouroro.  
  
"Yeah, I'm up." Ouroro stepped forward.  
  
"Dou you think you'll have recovered enough to come to dinner?" She rested her hand on Logan's bed.  
  
"Oh, that's right. Its your birthday." He glanced over at the Professor. "Yeah, I'll be there."  
  
~~~~~~~~ Later That Night.  
  
"1.2.3. A 1, 2, 3, 4!" The waiters came out of the kitchen singing a happy birthday song. The set a plate of chocolate cake down in front of the Professor.  
  
"Thank you, every one. But, you know you didn't have to do this," he said once the restaurant staff had left. Smiling, he added, "How ever, I'm glad you did." He continued talking with the others while munching on his cake.  
  
After a while Logan stood. "Excuse me. I've gotta use the little boys' room." He turned and disappeared in a crowd of people.  
  
"Wow, Logan got better real fast," Rogue pointed out.  
  
"Its because he can heal himself, like, super fast, remember?" Kitty grinned. "Kurt, you have frosting all over your face." "Yeah, man. Clean yourself up. You're emb-" Evan's words were lost then. Lost in a scream. Not just any scream, but a cry from none other than.  
  
Logan. 


	2. Thats Not Normal

Chapter 2  
  
All went silent. It was so quiet that one could hear a pin drop from the opposite side of the room. Frightened stares lit the room. The Professor, after almost jumping from his wheel chair, turned to Kurt. "Kurt, will you please," he whispered, not wanting to be to first to break this ungodly silence.  
  
"Right, I'm on it, Professor." Kurt glanced around to make sure no one would see him. Then in the next instant, he was gone. He looked around the small, blue tiled room that he was now standing in. "Logan? Is every thing ok?" Logan turned around. If looks could kill, the entire population could have been wiped out right then and there.  
  
"Elf!" He took a step back and looked down. Was he blushing?! "Yeah, I'm fine. I thought I saw a spider or somethin'," he said while pushing past Kurt.  
  
The two mutants made their way back to the table. Kurt shyly followed the path of 'What are you lookin' at's and 'Take a picture; it'll last longer's that Logan was making. One by one, the citizens of Bayville went back to eating or talking about this and that. A few cautious ones got up and left, some without even eating yet.  
  
Logan cleared his throat. "I don't feel too good. I'm goin' back to the Institute." He turned and quickly left the restaurant.  
  
"Like, what's up with him?" Kitty asked, still freaked out by Logan's sudden out burst.  
  
Kurt frowned. "He said he saw a spider. I don't know about you guys, but I don't buy it."  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
"Logan, may I come in?" Professor X waited patiently outside of Logan's room. He, like all of the others, was still concerned. Logan mumbled a 'yes' from the other side of the thick wooden door. Every one at dinner had promised to keep this little incident very hush-hush as not to cause more problems.  
  
Logan lay on his bed, his hands covering his face almost completely. "Are you sure you're alright, Logan? You gave us quite a scare." Logan glanced nervously around the room.  
  
"There's something I need to tell you. There must've been a mix up at the hospital. I think I still have my tonsils, but there's something more important missing." The Professor waited for the end of the story in silence, as not to pressure Logan. Something was obviously horribly, terribly wrong. "They gave me a sex change."  
  
A/N- The next chapter will be longer, I swear. Sorry I couldn't write this in chapter 1. I was in a rush. Ok, well this is my first X-Men fic. I just couldn't resist doing this to Logan. Don't you just love it when one of your favorite characters gets in a real mess? Please review, go ahead and flame me if you want to. Fire is my friend (insert evil laugh here) cause I'm a pyromaniac :) 


	3. Yay for Lance

Chapter 3  
  
Professor X didn't know what to say. In all of his ears of giving advice, this was the first time he couldn't believe his ears. "Are you sure? Your positive you weren't imagining things?" By the time he realized that he had just asked a question that was not proper for the occasion, it was too late.  
  
Logan snorted. "What are you tryin' to say?" He folded his arms over his chest. "And yes, I'm sure. I even checked, several times actually, to make sure I wasn't hallucinating. What do you suggest I do?"  
  
"Well, this is quite the predicament. First thing tomorrow, we'll go back to the hospital and speak with the doctor." He escorted Logan to the door. "I'll see you in the morning." The Professor watched him walk down the hall until he disappeared in his room.  
  
"Is Logan ok, Professor?" Scott asked while entering the room, the rest of his fellow X-Men close behind.  
  
"Yes and no. I'd rather not say, but he'll be fine." Charles smiled warmly at his students. "Now, all of you should get to bed. You wouldn't want to be late for school tomorrow." They nodded and headed towards their rooms.  
  
~~~~~~~~~  
  
The next day  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
"I'm hungry," Freddy whined.  
  
Lance glared across the room to his over weight friend. "So get up off your lazy ass and get something to eat."  
  
"There is nothing to eat." Pietro stated. "There aren't even any crumbs left."  
  
"You've gotta be kidding me," Lance sighed, pushing himself up off the couch. In the kitchen, he opened the refrigerator door and inspected its contents. That didn't take long. He headed back towards the living room, his hands in his pockets. "You don't need to eat." Freddy and Pietro glanced up at him.  
  
"What?"  
  
"You could afford to loose a few pounds any way." He plopped himself back down on the couch, ignoring the evil eye that Freddy was sending his way.  
  
"TOAD!!!"  
  
"Ah! Pookie, It was an accident! I didn't know you were in the shower, honest. If I did, I would have brought a camera or something. AHH!" Toad came rolling down the stairs, while Wanda stormed off to her room. She slammed the door hard enough to make the house shake.  
  
Toad lay at the bottom of the stairs, grinning up at Pietro. "You know, your sister looks pretty good naked." He simply snickered and looked away. Wanda scared him. If he agreed, she would hurt him. If he said she didn't look good naked, she'd hurt him. Some things are best left unsaid. "Ow, by the way, I think she sprained my wrist. What should I do?"  
  
"Cut it off," Lance quickly remarked. The three other boys of the Brotherhood stared at him. "I was being sarcastic. Just go down to the hospital and get an x-ray. I'll give you a ride, I might get lucky and the doctors will tell me that you have internal bleeding and you'll die soon." There was silence. "Kidding! God, can't you guys take a joke?"  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
At the hospital  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
"Yes, of course. Mr. Logan, Professor Xavier, if you could follow me, please." Logan pushed Charles out of the waiting room, following the nurse. "I don't know how this could have happened, I'll go find your chart in the back as soon as we get you settled in. This is the first time this has happened, oh my God. You're going to sue us. I've never been sued in my life!" She kept going on and on, never once stopping to take a breath.  
  
"Mr. Tolensky? The doctor will see you now." Toad stood up and followed the nurse. Lance watched him disappear down the corridor, trying to remember the last time he had ever been n such a clean environment. Then, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted something very familiar. It was Logan and Professor X. Curiosity got the best of him. He too stood and instead of following a nurse, he followed them.  
  
They entered a room filled with doctors and papers piled high upon the desk. Lance put his ear against the door, trying to look as unsuspicious as possible. "Oh, my. This is the first time we've ever given a sex change instead of a tonsillectomy. I can assure you, Mr. Logan, that this will never happen again."  
  
"I just don't understand how Logan's chart could be changed so drastically," commented the Professor, Logan grunting in agreement.  
  
Lance stepped back. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. The only one of the X-Men who could fight Sabertooth one on one had gotten a sex change?! He took off down the hall, already thinking of ways to blackmail Mr. Tough Guy.  
  
A/U: Yeah.um, I forgot to mention this earlier, but you may have noticed this by now. I'm pretending that Logan can get sick, cause he technically can't. Yay for healing powers. 


End file.
